Michael Vick Guilty!… Criminal Aliens… and more

So I apologize for the lack of activity the past few weeks on this blog… I had been busy hosting a few friends visiting the area (which was so much fun) and with work in general. Additionally, I felt slightly bad about completely donking away my roll over the past three weeks playing cash games way outside of my limits. I’m going to redeposit and recommit myself over the next few days with just SnG tournaments because I know I’m a winning player in those.

MICHAEL VICK

The biggest news of the past few days, in the sports world and perhaps news world in general, is that Michael Vick has reached a plea deal with the federal government in regards to charges of dogfighting. I’ve said from the beginning that I would give Vick the benefit of the doubt (following the debacle in Durham last spring) before I wrote anything in depth about the situation. Now that we basically have a conclusion, let me offer some of my own thoughts to this whole ordeal.

First off, make no doubt about it, I think Michael Vick is a cruel, awful, terrible, indecent, retarded (insert any other horrible adjectives) human being for funding and being involved in dogfighting. Some of the allegations – how Vick personally oversaw the execution of these dogs by electrocution and drowning – are truly unimaginable. He deserves whatever jail time he will ultimately be sentenced to by federal judge Henry E. Hudson (who is notorious for giving out tough sentences). I won’t say that Michael Vick will never play another down in the National Football League, but it will take an owner willing to take one hell of a risk to go out and grab Michael Vick when he does come back from behind bars. Out of all the positions in the NFL, quarterback is probably the one that would require constant practice – reading defenses, memorizing playbooks, timing passes, etc. Also, the quarterback of a team is usually the face of a franchise. I don’t know a single owner out there in the NFL right now that would want to present a dog killer to his fans as that face. Finally, this just popped up on SportsCenter… a SportsNation poll to the question “Would you want Michael Vick to play on your team after a prison sentence” came back with a resounding 75% majority of “No”. Maybe the CFL or AFL can take a chance on Vick, but I just don’t see an NFL team doing it.

In some respects, this whole situation with Michael Vick is a bit depressing. We all know about Vick’s younger brother Marcus, who once stomped on a linemen in the crotch after a dead ball whistle. It seemed, at the time, that Michael was above his younger brother’s behavior. He was a superstar in the NFL, had just signed the richest contract in league history, and was doing his best to lead the Falcons to a championship season. Sometimes you just can’t get away from your past. It seems like that was the case here with Vick. His three co-defendants invovled with the dogfighting operations were all childhood friends and appear to have continued to provide a bad influence on his livelihood. I’m not saying that their influence exonerates Vick by any means… I’m just saying with all the money and fame that follows these athletes, there are some things out there that just can’t be changed. Let’s hope Michael Vick learns a lesson from all of this and comes back to society as a better person.

CRIMINAL ALIENS

In case you missed it, two weeks ago four students in Newark were lined up and shot execution style by a gang of men. Three were killed and one was critically injured. It has become apparent, since then, that at least one of the suspects is an illegal immigrant. Jose Carranza is an illegal immigrant from Peru. The crime itself was completely horrifying. What makes me even more enraged is the fact that some of those involved were in this country illegally. I won’t get into my own views on immigration policy, but obviously I am sympathetic to most immigrants as the child of immigrants myself. I also realize that this country probably does need illegal immigrants in order to provide cheap labor that many other Americans are unwilling to perform. My problem comes when illegal immigrants commit crimes within our borders and then are GRANTED BAIL (yes… Mr. Carranza was granted $2 million bail for his role in the shootings of these four teenagers). I think that if you’re going to commit a crime as an illegal alien in the United States, you should be punished to the fullest extent of the law and then deported instantly upon serving your required jail time (assuming it isn’t a life sentence). Rest in peace to the three kids who were murdered in these shootings.

BASEBALL

So I know in my Trade Deadline post, I was bitching and ranting about how Brian Cashman was such a dumbass for not getting Eric Gagne at the trade deadline becuase he didn’t want to give up Melky Cabrera. Well now I feel like a completely dumbass. Since going to the Red Sox, Gagne has essentially given the Yankees 3 games in the division race by sucking royal ass. I guess the transition from the non-playoff attitude in Texas to the championship attitued in Boston is proving tough for Gagne. Meanwhile, the Yankees are doing their best to keep pace in both the wild card and divison races. Although right now we are currently getting our asses raped by the Angels 13-5, I still like the way we are playing. If we can get our starting pitching to where it should be, I truly believe we will make the playoffs and be a serious threat to win it all. Two young arms – Joba Chamberlain and Edwar Ramirez – have proven to be critical in a few games so far when we’ve needed them. I’m especially excited for Chamberlain who simply has electric stuff. I know its a really small sample size (7 IP, 2 H, 2 BB, 11 K’s)… but just watching some games in which he has pitched gives me a feeling that this kid will be really special in the future. Also, how the fuck are the Mariners so good? Can anyone please answer that question for me please…

Fantasy Football

So I’ve joined my first ever Fantasy Football league for the upcoming NFL season. It’s with a bunch of friends from Lawrenceville, so I’m expecting lots of trash talking and fun. It’s a 10 team league, and I got the 6th pick. Here are the draft results for my team:

Pick 6: Larry Johnson RB
Pick 15: Carson Palmer QB
Pick 26: Reggie Wayne WR
Pick 35: Terrell Owens WR
Pick 46: Carnell Williams RB
Pick 55: Jamal Lewis RB
Pick 66: Kellen Winslow Jr. TE
Pick 75: Ben Roethlisberger QB
Pick 86: Jerricho Cotchery WR
Pick 95: LenDale White RB
Pick 106: Michael Turner RB
Pick 115: Packers D/ST
Pick 126: Neil Rackers K
Pick 135: Jerry Porter WR
Pick 146: Muhsin Muhammad WR
Pick 155: Eddie Kennison WR

A brief analysis of my draft. I actually just entered the live draft room for my first round pick and was in a hurry to figure out what the hell was going on and who was left. Tomlinson, Jackson, Westbrook (wtf DJ?), Gore, and Addai had all been taken. I was in a struggle between Larry Johnson and Shaun Alexander. Both are great backs and due for big years in my opinion… the only question mark for LJ was his contract holdout and 400+ carries last season. I went with Johnson in the end because I think despite the 400+ carries last season, he’s the more explosive back and will have more opportunities to score TD’s with the QB situation in KC (compared to an established Pro Bowler like Matt Hasselback in Seattle). I picked Palmer for my second round pick because I felt there were no premium RB’s left in the draft. I hope Palmer will turn out to be the 2nd best QB in the league this year behind Peyton. The rest of the picks I think are pretty reasonable. I was stupid for taking a kicker in anything other than the last round (as I found out from Top 10 things not to do in a fantasy draft on SportsCenter), but in general I am satisfied with the way things turned out.

-K

Trade Deadline, Slow Drivers, Retarded Commercials

IF YOU DON’T LIKE SPORTS OR BASEBALL, SCROLL DOWN TO THE NEXT TOPIC.

MLB Trade Deadline

So the MLB Trade Deadline (well at least the pre-waiver trade deadline) came and went yesterday with a few notable deals – one that involved my favorite team (the Yankees) and another that involved least favorite team (naturally… the Red Sox). I’ll write about those two trades in a bit, but it would be an injustice to talk about the biggest trade of the deadline, which sent Mark Teixeira from Texas to Atlanta and Jarrod Saltalamacchia (yes, the guy with the long last name), Elvis Andrus, Nestali Feliz, and another minor leaguer from Atlanta to Texas. I think this is a solid move for the Braves, who needed production at the 1B position and also bring aboard a Gold Glove caliber defenseman at 1B as well. True, Teixeira’s numbers this season aren’t close to his 30+ HR 100+ RBI numbers from the past three seasons, but he provides the Braves another solid bat to go with Renteria and both Jones’. As for the Rangers, I think it could potentially be a good deal for them. I don’t claim to know much about Saltalamacchia or any of the packaged minor leaguers, but a talent evaluator for an NL club said that he thought Saltalamacchia for Teixeira straight up would have been a fair deal because of the potential Saltalamacchia has down the line. That’s a bold thing to say, given Teixeira’s numbers the past few years, but I think the verdict is TBD for the Rangers on this one. Also, for what it’s worth, Peter Gammons thinks the SS Elvis Andrus is a good minor league prospect.

Now, onto the two other trade which made me pretty upset and angry as a Yankees fan. First off is the deal that sent Eric Gagne to the Red Sox in return for Kason Gabbard and two minor league outfielders. Eric Gagne, after the multiple arm surgeries, is legit this year. His ERA+ (which is a ratio between the league’s ERA and his ERA) is at a very good 205 and his WHIP is decent. This essentially means that the Red Sox (who already have an extremely good starting rotation in Beckett, Schilling, Matsuzaka, Wakefield, and Lester) can shorten games for their starters to 6 innings. Their 7/8/9 inning trio is probably now the sickest in baseball with Okajima (who has a Papelbon-esque 0.87 ERA), Gagne, and Papelbon to finish their games. Wow, just writing that felt like someone punched me in the stomach. They’ll be a formidable foe (whether to the Yankees or any other team) come October.

So why am I so pissed off other than the fact that our most hated rivals got the best relief arm out on the market? Because apparently, the Yankees could have gotten that same arm if we had been willing to let go of a young CF by the name of Melky Cabrera. Yes, I think Melky is a decent bat and above average fielder, but no, I don’t think he’s the answer for the Yankees in the long term. In fact, he’s probably a 4th outfielder on a championship contending team. I understand if Cashman doesn’t want to get rid of young arms like Hughes or Karstens. After watching Hughes briefly earlier in the season, I’d actually be enraged if Cashman did so. But we’re not talking about trading arms for arms. We’re talking about trading a so-so OF prospect for a dominant relief pitcher (I mean, he did save 84 games straight just two years ago, Christ). Oh yeah, did I also mention that middle relief pitching is the ONE BIG GAPING HOLE in the Yankees right now? The offense is clicking on all cylinders, the starting pitching is coming around, Mo is being Mo… so yeah, WE NEED RELIEF PITCHERS. So not only do we not get Gagne, but we also just let him walk right to the Red Sox and create the most dominant bullpen in the league. Fuck you Brian Cashman.

Finally, the Yankees themselves just had to get into the action so we traded Scott Proctor to the Dodgers in exchange for switch-hitting IF Wilson Betemit. WTF?! No really, WTF?! So I did just say that relief pitching was our primary weakness heading into the last 1/3 of the season right? And so we decide to deal one of our better arms in the bullpen for a struggling utility infielder. This makes no fucking sense. Now I know that Proctor has been struggling, but when he has the right stuff, he’s an above average pitcher. Last year, his ERA+ was 125 and his WHIP was respectable as well. Barring any trades for relief pitchers over the next few weeks, our middle relief consists of Ron Villone, Kyle Farnsworth (who was a huge douche and nailed Posada on the wrist the other day), Luis Vizciano, Sean Henn, and Brian Bruney. Congratu-fucking-lations Brian Cashman. We have a shitty shitty bullpen for the rest of the season. Also… Wilson Betemit? With Giambi coming back from the DL very soon and an extra OF between Matsui, Abreu, and Damon/Cabrera, do we really need another bat on the bench? I think Damon, Giambi, and Duncan will do just fine for us Mr. Cashman. You suck.

Slow Drivers

People who have driven in a car with me know that I like to rev up that shitty Toyota Corolla of mine and drive fast. Then again, I haven’t driven REALLY fast since I got my speeding ticket for going both 56 in a 35 AND 63 in a 40 two and a half years ago. I understand that some people are risk averse and either don’t want to get a ticket or don’t like driving at such fast speeds (because it would thus increase their chances of getting into an accident). This is why I don’t really mind the slow fucks who drive in the right lane of highways and interstates – they can take 6 hours to cover a distance I’ll be done with in 4 hours, I don’t really care. What really kills me and gets me angry, though, is when people drive BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT on unpassable one lane roads (a prime example being Route 206). No one should ever be driving 35 or 40 in a 45, yet it happens all the time. I think part of the problem is the whole concept of a “speed limit”. When a road is marked with a speed limit of 45 MPH, I mentally bump that up to 55 and make sure I don’t go over 55. Why? Because unless you run into a huge douchebag ass of a cop, no police officer will pull you over for going <10 over the limit – even if they do, you can easily get your ticket reduced to a fine with no points. The fact that cops never pull you over for going <10 over the “speed limit” makes me wonder why the fuck we even have speed limits if not even cops take them seriously. Therefore, I’m totally an advocate for having a “speed minimum” on roads, along with a real, legitimate “speed limit”. If you set an actual speed limit that cops will enforce, I even think that fewer people will test the limits and receive speeding tickets. Right now, the whole concept of a “speed limit” is a joke, and that needs to change.

Retarded Commercials

No offense to my older sister Joyce, who graduated from Wharton with a Marketing degree, but sometimes I wonder how the fuck some people can go through college, attain a marketing degree, and put out some of the commercials that are out there on TV. Two commercials come to mind that will help illustrate my point.

The first one is the set of commercials recently put out by Miller High Life. In the various commercials, a distribution crew seeks out certain institutions (a gourmet deli, an upper class restaurant, a specialty foods store, etc.) which seem to be charging exorbitant amounts of money for their products. For example, the main distribution is shocked to see that one restaurant is charging $10.50 for a burger. He’s also shocked to see that one store is charging like $6 for cheese or something. Excuse me, but if you go to any established restaurant, burgers are probably going to be in the $9-12 range. Hell, even TGIF charges $8 for most of their burgers. But that’s not the main point about why these commercials are so retarded. After seeing these “high-class” establishments charge the prices they do, the distribution crew then goes into the establishment and takes away all the bottles of Miller High Life to represent a fight for the common man or fair value. Well now, that makes no fucking sense. To me, the message the makers of Miller High Life is trying to get through is “Our beer isn’t classy or good enough for nice establishments, so you can find us at cheap liquor stores and low class restaurants”. What fucking morons.

The other commercial I saw a few days ago on Sportscenter. It’s a commercial for Progressive Auto Insurance, and it has this father of 3 or 4 children talk about shopping for car insurance and how he saved $400 just by switching to Progressive. He goes on to explain how Progressive not only offers its own quote, but also those of its biggest competitors. Commercial is going well so far. Then it pans to a screen shot of his computer and the quotes that Progressive gave on its website. It has Progressive at like $195, and then Allstate at $290-330 and like GEICO at $330-380. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that the difference between Progressive and the other two companies is NOT $400. At least the screenshot is shown only for a few seconds and then the commercial ends, but seriously, whoever was in charge of making that commercial should be shot. If you’re going to claim that a guy saved $400 using Progressive, try and make your evidence seem that way.

-K