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MLB Trade Deadline
So the MLB Trade Deadline (well at least the pre-waiver trade deadline) came and went yesterday with a few notable deals – one that involved my favorite team (the Yankees) and another that involved least favorite team (naturally… the Red Sox). I’ll write about those two trades in a bit, but it would be an injustice to talk about the biggest trade of the deadline, which sent Mark Teixeira from Texas to Atlanta and Jarrod Saltalamacchia (yes, the guy with the long last name), Elvis Andrus, Nestali Feliz, and another minor leaguer from Atlanta to Texas. I think this is a solid move for the Braves, who needed production at the 1B position and also bring aboard a Gold Glove caliber defenseman at 1B as well. True, Teixeira’s numbers this season aren’t close to his 30+ HR 100+ RBI numbers from the past three seasons, but he provides the Braves another solid bat to go with Renteria and both Jones’. As for the Rangers, I think it could potentially be a good deal for them. I don’t claim to know much about Saltalamacchia or any of the packaged minor leaguers, but a talent evaluator for an NL club said that he thought Saltalamacchia for Teixeira straight up would have been a fair deal because of the potential Saltalamacchia has down the line. That’s a bold thing to say, given Teixeira’s numbers the past few years, but I think the verdict is TBD for the Rangers on this one. Also, for what it’s worth, Peter Gammons thinks the SS Elvis Andrus is a good minor league prospect.
Now, onto the two other trade which made me pretty upset and angry as a Yankees fan. First off is the deal that sent Eric Gagne to the Red Sox in return for Kason Gabbard and two minor league outfielders. Eric Gagne, after the multiple arm surgeries, is legit this year. His ERA+ (which is a ratio between the league’s ERA and his ERA) is at a very good 205 and his WHIP is decent. This essentially means that the Red Sox (who already have an extremely good starting rotation in Beckett, Schilling, Matsuzaka, Wakefield, and Lester) can shorten games for their starters to 6 innings. Their 7/8/9 inning trio is probably now the sickest in baseball with Okajima (who has a Papelbon-esque 0.87 ERA), Gagne, and Papelbon to finish their games. Wow, just writing that felt like someone punched me in the stomach. They’ll be a formidable foe (whether to the Yankees or any other team) come October.
So why am I so pissed off other than the fact that our most hated rivals got the best relief arm out on the market? Because apparently, the Yankees could have gotten that same arm if we had been willing to let go of a young CF by the name of Melky Cabrera. Yes, I think Melky is a decent bat and above average fielder, but no, I don’t think he’s the answer for the Yankees in the long term. In fact, he’s probably a 4th outfielder on a championship contending team. I understand if Cashman doesn’t want to get rid of young arms like Hughes or Karstens. After watching Hughes briefly earlier in the season, I’d actually be enraged if Cashman did so. But we’re not talking about trading arms for arms. We’re talking about trading a so-so OF prospect for a dominant relief pitcher (I mean, he did save 84 games straight just two years ago, Christ). Oh yeah, did I also mention that middle relief pitching is the ONE BIG GAPING HOLE in the Yankees right now? The offense is clicking on all cylinders, the starting pitching is coming around, Mo is being Mo… so yeah, WE NEED RELIEF PITCHERS. So not only do we not get Gagne, but we also just let him walk right to the Red Sox and create the most dominant bullpen in the league. Fuck you Brian Cashman.
Finally, the Yankees themselves just had to get into the action so we traded Scott Proctor to the Dodgers in exchange for switch-hitting IF Wilson Betemit. WTF?! No really, WTF?! So I did just say that relief pitching was our primary weakness heading into the last 1/3 of the season right? And so we decide to deal one of our better arms in the bullpen for a struggling utility infielder. This makes no fucking sense. Now I know that Proctor has been struggling, but when he has the right stuff, he’s an above average pitcher. Last year, his ERA+ was 125 and his WHIP was respectable as well. Barring any trades for relief pitchers over the next few weeks, our middle relief consists of Ron Villone, Kyle Farnsworth (who was a huge douche and nailed Posada on the wrist the other day), Luis Vizciano, Sean Henn, and Brian Bruney. Congratu-fucking-lations Brian Cashman. We have a shitty shitty bullpen for the rest of the season. Also… Wilson Betemit? With Giambi coming back from the DL very soon and an extra OF between Matsui, Abreu, and Damon/Cabrera, do we really need another bat on the bench? I think Damon, Giambi, and Duncan will do just fine for us Mr. Cashman. You suck.
Slow Drivers
People who have driven in a car with me know that I like to rev up that shitty Toyota Corolla of mine and drive fast. Then again, I haven’t driven REALLY fast since I got my speeding ticket for going both 56 in a 35 AND 63 in a 40 two and a half years ago. I understand that some people are risk averse and either don’t want to get a ticket or don’t like driving at such fast speeds (because it would thus increase their chances of getting into an accident). This is why I don’t really mind the slow fucks who drive in the right lane of highways and interstates – they can take 6 hours to cover a distance I’ll be done with in 4 hours, I don’t really care. What really kills me and gets me angry, though, is when people drive BELOW THE SPEED LIMIT on unpassable one lane roads (a prime example being Route 206). No one should ever be driving 35 or 40 in a 45, yet it happens all the time. I think part of the problem is the whole concept of a “speed limit”. When a road is marked with a speed limit of 45 MPH, I mentally bump that up to 55 and make sure I don’t go over 55. Why? Because unless you run into a huge douchebag ass of a cop, no police officer will pull you over for going <10 over the limit – even if they do, you can easily get your ticket reduced to a fine with no points. The fact that cops never pull you over for going <10 over the “speed limit” makes me wonder why the fuck we even have speed limits if not even cops take them seriously. Therefore, I’m totally an advocate for having a “speed minimum” on roads, along with a real, legitimate “speed limit”. If you set an actual speed limit that cops will enforce, I even think that fewer people will test the limits and receive speeding tickets. Right now, the whole concept of a “speed limit” is a joke, and that needs to change.
Retarded Commercials
No offense to my older sister Joyce, who graduated from Wharton with a Marketing degree, but sometimes I wonder how the fuck some people can go through college, attain a marketing degree, and put out some of the commercials that are out there on TV. Two commercials come to mind that will help illustrate my point.
The first one is the set of commercials recently put out by Miller High Life. In the various commercials, a distribution crew seeks out certain institutions (a gourmet deli, an upper class restaurant, a specialty foods store, etc.) which seem to be charging exorbitant amounts of money for their products. For example, the main distribution is shocked to see that one restaurant is charging $10.50 for a burger. He’s also shocked to see that one store is charging like $6 for cheese or something. Excuse me, but if you go to any established restaurant, burgers are probably going to be in the $9-12 range. Hell, even TGIF charges $8 for most of their burgers. But that’s not the main point about why these commercials are so retarded. After seeing these “high-class” establishments charge the prices they do, the distribution crew then goes into the establishment and takes away all the bottles of Miller High Life to represent a fight for the common man or fair value. Well now, that makes no fucking sense. To me, the message the makers of Miller High Life is trying to get through is “Our beer isn’t classy or good enough for nice establishments, so you can find us at cheap liquor stores and low class restaurants”. What fucking morons.
The other commercial I saw a few days ago on Sportscenter. It’s a commercial for Progressive Auto Insurance, and it has this father of 3 or 4 children talk about shopping for car insurance and how he saved $400 just by switching to Progressive. He goes on to explain how Progressive not only offers its own quote, but also those of its biggest competitors. Commercial is going well so far. Then it pans to a screen shot of his computer and the quotes that Progressive gave on its website. It has Progressive at like $195, and then Allstate at $290-330 and like GEICO at $330-380. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that the difference between Progressive and the other two companies is NOT $400. At least the screenshot is shown only for a few seconds and then the commercial ends, but seriously, whoever was in charge of making that commercial should be shot. If you’re going to claim that a guy saved $400 using Progressive, try and make your evidence seem that way.
-K
Posted by kevinhuang 
